At long last, I’m sitting down to write my birth story! The day I started drafting this, it was our son’s one month birthday. (As I’m finishing it up, he’s 7 weeks!) This past month has gone by so quickly! As they say, “The days are long but the weeks are short.” That is so true! I’m already feeling nostalgic for those super new newborn days. How difficult yet sweet they were!
I’m also feeling a bit nostalgic about those last days of pregnancy – which I did not expect to feel! I was so ready to birth our baby, but now that I’m not pregnant I miss the fun parts: the rounded belly, the baby kicks, the anticipation of wondering what this little one would be like on the outside.
With all that being said, let’s dive into the birth story of our first child! It actually begins the day before he was born, in order to give proper context.
The Day Before Birth
It was Tuesday, January 7, 2020 – one day before my due date. Mark and I had several important things on our agenda that didn’t include going into labor! And in all honesty, I was not expecting to go into labor just yet. As a first-time mom, statistically I was supposed to pass my due date.
At this time in our life, we were dealing with a lot of big life changes. First, we had moved from Germany to northern California at the end of October, at the very beginning of my third trimester. Since arriving in the United States, we had been living in a hotel. (See my third trimester update post for more details on this!)
Our hotel was directly across the street from the housing office for military housing. About twice a week, Mark and I paid them a visit in an effort to make the process moving along faster. It was exasperating at times because here I was, late in my third trimester, and we did not have a home in which to live. We had also rented a small storage unit for our overflow luggage, new king-sized bed, and baby gear we had accumulated since moving.
Cabin fever + nesting is not a fun combination! I couldn’t wait to have a home, yet at the same time I began to resign myself to living in the hotel up until or even after giving birth. We set up baby’s bassinet, installed the car seat, prepped the stroller, and washed all the baby clothes and blankets. If he decided to come before we had a house, then we were prepared!
Big Life Changes
Another big life change was that Mark had started his Masters of Science program the day prior to this, on Monday, January 6th. Then my due date was on Wednesday, January 8th! It was always kind of nutty saying that I was due the exact week Mark started school, but because of the first-time mom statistics I wasn’t too worried about things coinciding.
We finally were assigned to a house and received our offer letter on Monday evening! Mark’s professor canceled class on Tuesday morning for some reason, so we both got to sleep in. Then we worked on reading through and signing the lease online.
Another thing we had to do that day was clear out our storage unit. The unit renewed on Wednesday, but since we were getting the keys to our house we wouldn’t need it anymore. So we didn’t want to get charged for another month! We also couldn’t fit everything into our SUV, so after finishing up with the lease we went to U-Haul and rented a van.
My Last Prenatal Appointment
The next thing on the day’s agenda was my 15th prenatal appointment at 3:00pm. (Yes, I kept track of how many I had.) Unfortunately, Mark also had an engagement at 3pm on campus, so he couldn’t come with me to the appointment. Since we have only one vehicle, he dropped me off a little early and I planned on taking an Uber back to the hotel. Then at 5:00pm we would meet with the housing office to finalize the paperwork and get our keys!
Since I was early to my appointment, I brought my baby blanket knitting project. I was almost finished and felt like I could get it done before baby arrived! A little after 3pm, the nurse called me back and did her normal evaluations: weight, blood pressure, and baby’s heart rate. Everything was normal. Then I waited for my doctor to come in. He must have been very busy with other patients because I waited at least 15 minutes!
Doc apologized when he came into the room and proceeded to ask how things had gone the past week. I said that as usual, things were fine – although I had been having a lot of Braxton Hicks over the past few days. Though they weren’t very consistent or painful, the intensity did increase ever so slightly each day.
An Unexpected Finding
He checked my dilation and I expected to be sent on my merry way. My entire pregnancy had been healthy and uncomplicated, and I fully expected to have an unmedicated vaginal delivery. But with a concerned look on his face he said, “I’m sending you to the ultrasound room to check the positioning of the baby.”
“Oh! Really, okay,” I responded, surprised but excited to see baby boy one more time via ultrasound.
He did the quickest ultrasound ever, but that’s all that was needed to see where baby’s head was: at the top of my uterus. Baby Mayor was BREECH! He had been head down just the week prior.
Doc handed me a towel to wipe off the ultrasound gel, and helped me sit up so we could talk about my options. It was at this moment that I realized the depth of his compassion and thoughtfulness. It’s so important to have a doctor that gives it to you straight but also is genuinely caring.
Dealing with a Breech Baby
First, he was very surprised that baby was breech! It was very late in the game for him to turn. I could tell he was disappointed for me. Next, he laid out all my options. I found myself wishing Mark was there because there was so much information to take in. (He had been at almost every prenatal appointment!) In a way my mind was reeling, trying to process the mere fact that baby was breech. And now I had to pay attention closely so I could make the best decision possible.
I had three options: 1) go home and discuss everything with Mark before making a decision; 2) schedule a version ASAP to try turning the baby; or 3) forego the version and schedule a c-section before going into labor. Otherwise going into labor with a breech baby would be an emergency. He said that time was of the essence but made no attempt to pressure me into any decision. I appreciated that so much!
I think he sensed my overwhelm and asked, “What is your gut telling you?” My gut feeling was to opt for the version as soon as possible, without getting Mark’s input. A subsequent decision to make was whether I wanted pain management for the version, which can be extremely painful. After a moment of thought I decided that yes, I would like to take pain management and be numbed from the chest down.
Scheduling a Version
When the version happened hinged on the hospital’s schedule, since it had to be done in a hospital after I had fasted for 8 hours. If the version worked and baby flipped, then I could go home and wait for natural labor to start. If he didn’t turn, then we’d go immediately into a c-section. Between now and the version, Doc suggested that I do an exercise where you put your face on the floor and your butt in the air for a few minutes at a time. He said that sometimes this position can encourage baby to turn on his own.
The front desk lady (we’ll call her Jane) would call the hospital for me and make the version appointment. She was helping four other patients ahead of me, so while I waited, I texted Mark about what had happened at my appointment. I also updated my family members via a Facebook Messenger thread.
Jane was able to schedule me for the version at 7:30am the very next morning! I’d need to be there at 6:00am. I had this feeling like I was being flung into space and couldn’t get my footing, especially since I hadn’t consulted with Mark’s schedule first. But it would just have to work.
Military Life Stress
By now it was around 4:15pm and Mark was available to pick me up. While driving back to the Navy Lodge, we discussed the version and timeline. Up till now, I wasn’t really stressed out about things and was doing my best to take things in stride. I wasn’t even stressed out about the thought of having a c-section! But what was stressing me out was the military. I needed clarity on how “immediate” a c-section would be if baby did not turn. Long story short, there were certain procedures Mark needed to go through in order to get permission to miss class, and it seemed very complicated.
We decided to call Doc. We had to wait on hold but finally we spoke with him. After explaining our dilemma with the military, Doc asked me: “Malori, this is how I see it: how do YOU want things to happen? That is the number one priority right now.”
“Well, if he doesn’t turn and I need a c-section, I see no reason to wait especially since I’ll have pain control in place.”
“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do.” Then to Mark, “I can write whatever kind of memo you need me to write in order to get off from class.” In so many words, he inferred that we were complicating how things worked with the military and their “rules,” and that I should not be considering them first. It was so comforting to know he saw things that way.
By the time we got off the phone with Doc, it was almost 5:00pm. It was nearly time to get the keys to our new home, which was exciting! I still felt subdued though. Despite our positive conversation with my doctor, I still felt stressed over the military thing.
Finally Getting Our Home!
First we had to do a walk-through of our home to note damages. That took about 15-20 minutes. Then we had to finish the paperwork at the office. The lady was very kind but it felt like she was taking forever! We kept discreetly checking the time because it was nearing 5:45 and we HAD to be at the storage place before 6:00 when it closed!
With eight minutes to spare, we arrived at the storage place in the U-Haul van. To our relief, we were allowed to stay inside till at least 7:00 – we just had to be through the gates before 6:00. During this time I sporadically updated the family through Messenger about what was happening.
Processing Our Circumstances
By the time we left with the loaded U-Haul, we both were hungry for dinner. Mark suggested delivery through Uber Eats, so I took a look at the app and decided to order from a local BBQ place.
While we waited for the delivery, Mark got on his computer to start notifying his professors, and I called Mama. I needed to verbally process everything that had happened because I still felt pretty distressed! Mama and Daddy had left Texas on Monday, driving out to California. When I called, they were just east of Flagstaff, Arizona.
I first called around 7:00pm but the service was horrible in their location, so the call kept dropping. At one point during our conversation, I tried the inversion exercise Doc had suggested. In our conversation, Mama said (in a nice way!) that I was blowing things out of proportion with regards to the military thing and that I needed to calm down. It was helpful to hear that from her.
Our dinner arrived while I was talking to Mama, around 7:30pm. I had also sent a message to Mark’s family about the day’s developments. Jeanine (Mark’s mom) got a prayer chain started for baby to turn. I can always count on them to be prayer warriors!
Braxton Hicks – or Active Labor?
It was around this same time that I felt my first contraction of the evening. It felt like a typical Braxton Hicks, but it lasted longer: 1 minute and 40 seconds. I also was really hungry and started eating, but in the back of my mind I wondered if I would regret that if this was actual labor. But hunger overrode my worries and I kept eating!
Jeanine and Nick started a group call with us and Mark’s brother, and we all talked for about half an hour. During our call, I had three more contractions but they again just felt like Braxton Hicks.
After our call and eating dinner, I decided to take Zoey out to potty – partly to see if a walk would stop the contractions. In the past, my BH contractions would happen while I was sitting or lounging around, and movement would stop them. But to my surprise, they continued and I had two contractions during our walk! This had never happened before and it made me wonder if this was different.
Back at the hotel room, I started last-minute preparations of my hospital bags, just in case the version didn’t work and I needed a c-section. I was dreading getting up before 6:00am! The contractions continued during this time but there wasn’t a clear pattern yet. Some were 15 minutes apart, some were 5 minutes apart, some were 10 minutes apart. I wasn’t meeting the 5-1-1 rule so it didn’t seem like this was actual labor. Mark was busy with school work so I didn’t even bother to tell him what was going on!
It Can’t Be Labor…
By this time, Mama and Daddy were at their hotel in Flagstaff with better phone reception, so she and I talked while I cleaned up our kitchenette. I had three contractions during our half hour conversation, and for one of them I said to Mama: “Okay so that contraction was a bit more intense!” I was beginning to feel like these were different than Braxton Hicks, but I still was not convinced that I was in the beginning stages of labor.
I got off the phone around 10:00pm and decided to have a treat before starting my fast at 11:00pm: chocolate Valencia orange ice cream from Whole Foods. Yum!
It was around 10:30pm when I started to work on my January bullet journal monthly calendar. But right then is also when Mark finished his work and said that we should take our belongings from storage over to our house. I felt a little annoyed that we were doing this so late! I really wanted to take a relaxing Epsom salt and lavender bath to see if that would stop the contractions. But it would have to wait until we were done.
By then I had had at least three more contractions, but I still didn’t say anything to Mark. I knew he wanted to focus on moving stuff and I didn’t want him worrying about me. Besides, it probably wasn’t real labor anyway! (Can you sense some denial here??)
Moving Into Our House
I drove our SUV and Mark drove the U-Haul over to our house, and parked in the alley outside the garage. It’s a detached garage, so that entailed walking across the rather long yard into the house with our stuff. I could only carry light things but I helped as much as I could. I even climbed up and down the stairs a few times and climbed into the back of the U-Haul. (Looking back and knowing I was in labor, this was ridiculous! But I really do have a high pain tolerance, and I felt mostly fine in between contractions.)
At one point I was carrying a small box of cleaning supplies, and I had a more intense contraction. I had to drop the box and just breathe through it before I could go on. At this point I should’ve told Mark what was going on but I still didn’t! I couldn’t keep it from him much longer though. We were almost done for the night when I had another intense contraction and stopped for a moment on the patio. This time Mark saw me and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m having a contraction,” I said calmly, but didn’t say that they’d been going on for several hours and were getting worse! By this time they were starting to tire me out, coupled with all the walking and carrying things. Plus, past 11:00pm I wasn’t allowed to even drink water so I was a bit thirsty.
Maybe it IS Labor??
The final task of the night was to do a self-return of the U-Haul van. So again I drove the SUV and Mark drove the van. I hoped that my contractions would hold out until we got there, since they sometimes were 10 or more minutes apart. Unfortunately, I actually had a contraction while driving!! I felt it coming on and I prayed that it wouldn’t be very bad – and thankfully it wasn’t. But I still can’t believe I was in labor and driving a vehicle. *face palm*
We pulled into the U-Haul place and I sat in the SUV driver’s seat while Mark completed the return. (I can’t pass that place now without thinking about that night!) It was around 11:30pm. I texted Mama while waiting, trying to figure out what I should do next:
Me: “So I dunno, these contractions are starting to get painful and a little closer together…Like now they’re averaging a little under 9 minutes apart. We just moved all our storage stuff into the house and there were several times I had to stop walking and just take a moment. They’re starting to tire me out a little!”
Mama: “Because you have a known breech baby, maybe you better call the doctor.” I’m so glad Mama suggested that I do this, because otherwise I might have waited just a little longer to see if the contractions would get to be 5 minutes apart consistently!
“I Don’t Think These Are Braxton Hicks”
As I waited for Mark, the worst contraction yet hit me. I was stuck behind the steering wheel, and not being able to move made the contraction seem worse. I really wanted to move but it was raining outside. I totally did not follow the advice of my birth class and instead clenched my fists, dug them into my thighs, and squirmed in pain.
After that was over, I texted Mama again and said, “Okay I just had one that was like fist clenching. I don’t think these are Braxton Hicks. Interval was 5 minutes 52 sec.” Well it took me long enough to acknowledge that!!
Mama: “Better call….”
It seemed like Mark was taking forever, but finally he hopped into the passenger’s seat and looked at me to drive home. I looked back at him and said, “You need to drive.”
“Why?” he asked, totally oblivious through no fault of his own! (Ladies, please don’t keep your husband in the dark while you’re in labor – or even when you think you might be in labor!)
“I’ve been having contractions and I think I need to call the doctor because of the baby being breech. I don’t think they’re Braxton Hicks contractions.” I guess I’m really good at hiding pain!
We switched places and Mark drove home to the hotel in the cold rain. I really should’ve called the doctor immediately, but in my silly mind I didn’t want to call him while driving. Why? Because what if he heard us in the car with the windshield wipers going and wondered why his full-term pregnant patient was galavanting about at midnight, the night before having a version early the next morning?! Of course, he wouldn’t have thought that, and probably wouldn’t have realized we were in the car…but those were the things my silly pregnant brain worried about.
It’s Go Time!
We pulled into the hotel parking lot and then I called my doctor at 11:51pm. It sounded like I woke him up from sleeping. “Hi Doctor, it’s Malori Mayor. I hate to bother you so late [why did I need to apologize?!] but I’ve been having contractions tonight and they seem to be getting worse. I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to do with the baby being breech.”
He asked me about their duration and how bad they were, and my response made him say, “Okay yeah, we’ve gotta get you checked. If you’re already pretty progressed then doing a version isn’t really feasible. Call the Family Birth Center and let them know you’re coming. I’ll meet you there.” Our call lasted just one minute but it seemed longer than that!
I hung up and looked over to Mark with reticence and disbelief. “Well, I guess you’re having a c-section after all,” he said.
“Aaaaah I know I can’t believe it! I’m not ready!!” I was suddenly gripped with an unexpected fear of not being ready. I had been saying for weeks that I was ready for baby to come whenever he was ready – but now that the moment was before us, I didn’t feel ready! I know that sounds terrible, but I think it was me feeling out of control of the situation, not that I didn’t want him to come.
Checking Into the Hospital
As we walked to our hotel room, I realized that it was a few minutes till midnight of January 8th. If I was in labor, I would be having this baby on his due date! I never expected that. Zoey greeted us at the door but I felt so weird. The next time I saw her, we’d have a baby with us!
I called the hospital, and in between texting Mama about the turn of events, we finished getting our things ready to go. Right before we were ready to leave, I had another intense contraction and laid the top half of my body over the bed to breathe through it. Mark took our luggage and went out to get the car, and I met him outside once the contraction was over. We were on our way to the hospital! It was around 12:20am and it felt surreal.
Since it was past midnight, we pulled up to the ER entrance and checked in. While I stood there waiting to be processed, I felt pretty good and didn’t have any contractions! So I felt like I needed to act a little more distressed than I actually was, because what if they thought I was faking labor?? (Again, my silly mind!) So I leaned against the counter and rested my head on my hand, trying to not sound too chipper.
The medical escort arrived to take us up to L&D and offered me a wheelchair – and I turned it down! What the heck Malori, you’re supposed to act like you’re in labor!! “I can walk,” I said calmly. Mark handled our luggage and I carried my small purse and water bottle. As we neared the Family Birth Center of the hospital, I had another contraction and had to slow down a little bit. I really should’ve taken that wheelchair!
Actually in Active Labor!
We arrived at the nurses station and were taken back to a triage/surgery prep room by a blonde-haired younger nurse. She instructed me to get fully undressed and put on the hospital gown. Mark and I had both been pretty subdued getting ready for the hospital, but now our moods lightened and he said some things that made me chuckle.
The blonde nurse hooked me up to fetal heart rate and contraction monitors, and she gave me a bit of hope that baby had turned due to where she found the heart beat. Another nurse inserted an IV into my hand and hooked me up to fluids. This is where things got confusing and now I can’t quite remember all the details in chronological order. Staff kept coming in and out, and I had probably three nurses attending to me, all doing different things!
My doctor arrived, as well as the on-call doctor who would be assisting with the c-section if that’s what I needed. Around 12:45am, the blonde nurse checked my dilation and I was 5-6 cm already! “You’re very efficient,” she told me, since contractions had started only five hours ago. So I really was in labor! Whew! (Later when I read my discharge report, the doctor said that I was 6-7 cm dilation and that “transition was imminent.” Wow!)
Speaking of labor, once we arrived at the hospital, I only had two or three more contractions. They were very intense, but in between I still felt pretty normal and had a nice time chatting it up with my nurses.
Officially Having a C-Section
An ultrasound machine was brought in, and the on-call doctor checked the position of the baby. Unfortunately, he was still breech and I was in active labor – so that meant I was officially having a c-section! At the time, I didn’t consider it an emergency; it was simply unplanned. But looking back, I realize that it really was an emergency because my labor was progressing quite rapidly and I was on the brink of transition!
They put a blue cap on me and gave blue scrubs to Mark. I also got sequential compression devices put on my legs to prevent blood clots, since I’d be immobile for awhile. More people came in to prep me. A young guy from the lab came to draw my blood and said, “Hi there, I’m Dracula.” It took me a moment to realize it was a joke and that his actual name wasn’t Dracula! Ha. When he asked me to confirm my name and date of birth, I was having a contraction and it took some effort to speak the information. I tried to not worry whether I was in transition or not, because I knew that having the urge to push would be bad!
The anesthesiologist talked with me about the spinal block for anesthesia. I made sure he knew that I had a spinal fusion and rods in my back for scoliosis, and he said that shouldn’t be a problem. The c-section procedure was also explained to me by both the nurse and my doctor, and I signed consent forms. They’d be doing a very low horizontal cut. Another nurse also asked me about the last time I had something to eat. I really hoped that I wouldn’t regret that ice cream, because the anesthesiologist said the spinal could make me dizzy or even vomit. I could handle pain, I just didn’t want to throw up!
Around 1:30 AM, a nurse gave me an antacid drink, to neutralize stomach acid. It tasted so gross! I texted Mama that in a few minutes, I’d be taken back to the OR. I gave my phone to Mark and made sure he’d be in communication with my mom. Before I knew it, I was helped off the bed and walked into the OR! Mark had to wait outside the doors until I was prepped.
Inside the OR
The nurse helped me onto the operating table with a stool. Around this time, I started feeling a little shaky due to the coldness of the OR and excited nerves. I sat on the edge of the table and prepared for the insertion of the spinal block. I had to curl my back as best I could, with my chin on my chest and shoulders down. I felt a pinch when he inserted the local numbing medicine, and then he inserted the spinal block shot. I know this freaks a lot of people out, but it wasn’t bad at all.
Then I was assisted to lie down on the table before the spinal took full effect. It was the strangest sensation to lie there and feel my entire lower body going numb. It was like a warm wave washing over me, and it helped to calm my shaking legs. However, the medication increased the shaking of my upper body, which was normal. My arms were laid out like I was going to make a snow angel, with a pulse oximeter on one hand and a blood pressure cuff on the opposite arm. I was also given some warm blankets for my shakes. But thankfully I never felt dizzy or nauseated!
A nurse inserted a urinary catheter and the surgical area on my abdomen was cleansed. The leg compression devices were turned on, and there were so many people in the room! The blue drape was set up, and then I heard the nurse calling the “time out,” which is where everyone makes sure they’re on the same page for the surgery. Then I heard Doc ask me, “Malori, how are you feeling?”
“I’m good!” I replied. I heard someone call out, “Okay, dad can be brought in now!” I then knew that my doctor had made a test cut to make sure I was numb, and things were about to get underway!
Maximilian John is Born!!
Mark was brought in and seated on the left side of my head. We were about to have a baby!! I wouldn’t have to do any pushing or give any effort on my part, which was so weird. I felt zero pain and just lots of pulling as the doctors performed the c-section. I was also distracted by the shaking of my arms and trying (in vain) to keep them still.
Mark was very interested in the surgery and tried standing up to watch. “Oh no no no, you don’t want to watch,” said the anesthesiologist, gently pushing him down by the shoulder.
“I’ve been in combat, blood doesn’t bother me,” Mark responded. I know he could’ve handled watching! Heck, I wish I could’ve seen it. But the anesthesiologist said they’ve had too many husbands faint in the OR.
It was only a couple minutes until I heard them saying something that indicated the baby was almost out and was coming out butt first…..and then I heard Max’s first cry!!! It was so strong and healthy-sounding, and I was smiling so big and started crying myself. He was active and kicking, and a healthy pink color! Mark stood up and snapped his first photos. He called out to me, “He’s perfect! Looking great, and he’s got hair!”
My doctor lifted him up to show me above the drape as I had requested, but since he didn’t lift him quite high enough all I saw was the top of his head. Then he was whisked over to the warmer to be evaluated by the pediatric team. Mark got to cut the umbilical cord and followed them over to the warmer to take pictures. Max cried the whole time and even peed on the nurses! They remarked at how cute he was.
Meeting Our Son
It was strange being on an operating table while my baby was out of sight and in the hands of strangers. It certainly was not the birth I had envisioned. But Mark stayed with him the entire time. Though it seemed like awhile, soon Max was brought over to me, all swaddled up. Mark sat down on his chair and helped put Max on my chest.
I couldn’t believe I was face to face with our son, Maximilian John, after 9 long months in the womb! After the excitement of seeing our first positive pregnancy test…the fear of losing our miracle baby after infertility and obsessively taking more pregnancy tests…the morning sickness that hit me while we were at Lourdes and lasted for seemingly weeks on end…the sheer exhaustion of that first trimester…all the European travel we took during my second trimester…the huge move from Germany to the U.S. and endless waiting for a house in my third trimester…the last-minute complication of baby being breech. All the trials of pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding it were washed away in that moment and it was finally the three of us on the outside world!
The pediatrician took Mark’s iPhone and snapped several pictures of us as a family. I never imagined taking that typical c-section birth photo, but it is now one of my favorite photos of all time. I smiled through my foggy glasses and happy tears. Max laid on my chest for a couple minutes, with Mark supporting him, and at one point someone said that I could move my arms and hold him. (I thought I wasn’t allowed to move my arms!) Then after too short a time, he was taken away while I got stitched up.
C-Section and Recovery
The stitching up part was the longest, probably 20-30 minutes. While working on me, the on-call doctor said to me, “You have great anatomy! You could do this like five or six more times!” I laughed – what a compliment! I took it to mean that it made it easy for them to put everything back together. I also heard the nurses or surgical techs counting equipment used, which makes sure that nothing is left inside the patient. It’s weird being on the patient end of a surgery, being aware of things, and knowing to a certain extent what’s going on medically! (I have seen a c-section before, as well as assisted at a vaginal birth during nursing school.)
During this time, Mark was in the recovery room with Max where they weighed and measured him. He also did skin-to-skin with him, which is what I wanted in my birth wishes in the event of a c-section and if I couldn’t do skin-to-skin.
When they were done, the blue drape was taken down and it took a whole crew of people to move me from the operating table to the recovery bed, as I was basically dead weight. Then I was wheeled into the recovery room. Max was in the nursery while the recovery room nurse did her initial checks on me.
I was doing well and wasn’t groggy or sick, and the shaking had subsided, so the nurse asked if I wanted to have Max brought in, and I said definitely! The nursery nurse brought him in, lying in his bassinet, and unswaddled him so we could do skin-to-skin. It was amazing to have him in my arms! He latched onto breastfeeding right away too! It was total bliss and as if we had known each other forever. Mark was also brought in and sat in the rocking chair across the room, beaming!
A Special Birth Day
I was in the recovery room for at least an hour, and then I was wheeled down the hallway to my LDRP room, 2211. LDRP stands for labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum – which means that if you’re having a vaginal birth, you do everything in one room and don’t have to move. It was a nice large room with windows that could open! It was probably around 3:30am.
Mark and I were awake all night, unable to sleep from excitement and adrenaline! Max would sleep in my arms on and off, and nurses were in and out of the room. Mark posted the great news on Facebook and it was so wonderful reading all the congratulatory comments!
Maximilian John is named after two great Polish saints: St. Maximilian Kolbe and Pope St. John Paul II. After visiting St. Maximilian’s site of martyrdom in Auschwitz and visiting places important to Pope John Paul II, I developed a special devotion to them both. I asked on a regular basis for their intercession for us to have a baby. But the story of his name gets even better.
It was thanks to someone’s comment on Facebook that we discovered that Max was born on his namesake’s birthday! St. Maximilian Kolbe was also born on January 8th, in 1894! Only God could have orchestrated that. Perhaps that’s why everything worked out like it did, so Max could be born on January 8th.
In August 2018, during our struggle with infertility, Mark and I prayed at St. Maximilian Kolbe’s execution site in Auschwitz, promising that our first son would be named after him. I truly believe that St. Maximilian interceded for us! God has unique and special plans for Max’s life, and I can’t wait to see how they unfold.
Epilogue
I spent four nights in the hospital, per the usual for c-section moms. I had amazing nurses, my doctor and pediatrician visited us every morning, and best of all: my parents arrived the night of Max’s birth day! How special it was to have them there.
Max passed all his medical tests, and while it was painful and slow-moving at first, my recovery was great. I was able to walk to the bathroom and back to my bed later on Wednesday. The next day I had my urinary catheter taken out and started becoming more mobile. I did have some breastfeeding challenges and lots of pain, but the lactation consultants and nurses helped us through that. Mama, Daddy, and Mark kept us company, I had one friend visit, and I FaceTimed with relatives.
On Saturday afternoon we were discharged! The on-call OB visited us that morning (the same one who had assisted with the c-section) and gave us three parenting tips:
- Make the baby adjust to your environment, not the other way around. So bang the pots and pans, let the dog bark, and run the vacuum cleaner.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Otherwise life will be so much harder.
- Take a ridiculous amount of pictures!
The funny thing about “going home” is that we actually went “home” to the hotel! I had joked about this happening but didn’t think it would become reality. We had our house and a bed, but since we didn’t have a bed frame yet I didn’t want to stay there because getting up and down would be hard with my incision. So we stayed in the hotel Saturday and Sunday night, while Mama and Daddy stayed in the house on an air mattress.
On Monday, we officially moved out of the hotel and into our home! It felt SO GOOD to be in a house after more than two months of hotel living. Home at last, Max’s first home! Our household goods were delivered on Tuesday and the enormous task of organizing a new place began. And to think that just a week prior, I had gone into labor!
What a wild ride that week was! I never imagined things playing out the way they did. We tried our hardest to prevent those circumstances from happening all at once: Mark starting school, getting our house, giving birth, receiving our household goods. Things definitely would’ve been easier and less stressful had we been in our home and received our HHG before going into labor – but all of this is the perfect military story of everything colliding.
And you know what? As stressful as it was, I am proud that we got through it! Would we have had things differently if we could’ve controlled the circumstances? You betcha. But now that we’ve gotten through it and are on the other side, I wouldn’t have it any other way because now we get to have this incredible story as part of our life. And Max definitely doesn’t have a boring birth story!
If you are facing giving birth and are stressed out or scared, I hope our story helps empower you. If you are a military family who just moved or is in less-than-ideal circumstances, I feel your struggle! Giving birth and being a parent is not easy – but it’s such an honor and solemn duty to steward little souls on this earth. There was a time where it felt like that might never happen for us, and my heart could burst thinking back on our journey and where we are now. What a gift it is to live this life and be Mommy to Max. Thank you for reading and for all your support and prayers! I will forever be grateful.