Ever since moving to Germany, my husband and I have done a lot of traveling. We’ve visited six countries together in five months: Switzerland, Austria, Italy, Luxembourg, Belgium, and France. Each trip contained its own adventures and delights. However, nothing compared to the trip we just took to Lourdes, France. Today’s post will be a recap about my Warriors to Lourdes experience and how this relates to health – specifically, spiritual and emotional health.
What is Warriors to Lourdes?
First, what is Warriors to Lourdes? You can read a detailed explanation over on my personal blog here. But in short, it’s an annual pilgrimage where military personnel, veterans, caregivers, and volunteers come from all over the world to the Catholic pilgrimage site in Lourdes, France. This year was the 60th annual event, ever since the end of World War II. Veterans come to seek healing and reconciliation with themselves, God, and others. Their wounds are not just physical, but spiritual, mental, and emotional as well. “Warriors to Lourdes” specifically encompasses the Americans who come sponsored by the Knights of Columbus, a Catholic fraternal organization that performs works of charity. Supporting the troops and wounded warriors is part of their mission.
This year, I was blessed to attend not just as a military spouse, but as a volunteer: a musician for Mass and a nurse in the volunteer medical group. Mark attended as an active duty service member and participated in the official military events in uniform. While I came wanting to serve, I also had my own prayer requests. I feel like in the end, I received so much more than I was able to give.
Going to Lourdes as a pilgrim and volunteer
From start to finish, the events coordinated for us by the Knights of Columbus were so organized and smoothly run. This pilgrimage sees upwards of 15,000 in attendance total, so navigating that can be difficult. The crowds can also be a trigger for many veterans with PTSD and other emotional wounds. Thankfully, there were several mental health specialists within our volunteer medical group. We also had quite a number of wounded warriors in wheelchairs. But that is not an uncommon sight in Lourdes: a hospital is nearby, and every day volunteers and nurses bring the ill and injured to the healing baths. As someone said, they are the “VIP’s of Lourdes.”
I played my violin three times at Lourdes: at the welcome Mass for Warriors to Lourdes pilgrims, at the opening Mass for American pilgrims at the gorgeous Rosary Basilica, and at the Anointing of the Sick service. At our Catholic community on base, I play violin weekly for Sunday Mass, but it was really special to use my music skills to help lift everyone’s spirits to God during this pilgrimage. Thankfully I was not called upon to use any emergency nursing skills. However, I had the honor of pushing a wounded warrior in her wheelchair for the Marian procession on Saturday night. It was a challenge, navigating the thick crowds on the way to the meeting place. But we made it through and were able to be near the front of the procession with the other wheelchairs and caregivers.
The story of St. Bernadette
A main part of Lourdes is the healing baths. This may sound strange if you don’t know the story of St. Bernadette. I suggest you go read about it here for the full scope. Basically what happened is 160 years ago, the uneducated teen girl Bernadette Soubirous had 18 visits from the Blessed Virgin Mary at this Grotto in Lourdes. It actually was a trash dump at the time, and at first many people didn’t believe Bernadette’s words about her visions. But with childlike faith, she kept returning to the Grotto and Mary kept coming back.
During one of the visions, Mary asked Bernadette to wash herself there. Bernadette thought she meant in the river nearby. But Mary actually wanted her to dig in the earth until a spring came forth. It is still flowing strongly till this day! I was able to see it with my own eyes. Ever since the spring appeared, miracles have occurred after people bathe in or wash themselves in the water. Now, thousands of people every year come to Lourdes on pilgrimage; millions of people over the past 160 years. It is so beautiful to think of the devotion of all those people, the faith they come with, and the healing they receive.
The gift of healing: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual
Some people receive the gift of physical healing. The 70th verified miracle of Lourdes was confirmed by the Catholic Church just this year. (A nun who couldn’t walk and then was able to walk after bathing in the Lourdes water.) These miracles undergo a rigorous process that can take years. (This most recent one took 10 years!) In the end, there are no medical or scientific explanations for them. There are thousands of other stories of physical (and I’m guessing also mental) healing that have not been officially verified. Not everyone reports their miracles to the Church, so who knows how many have actually been granted healing!
But physical healing is not the only thing that happens at Lourdes. After arriving at Lourdes, I felt that everyone who comes there with the right intention will receive healing of some sort. It could be emotional or spiritual healing. It could simply be having a greater peace and less attachment to earthly things. In our quest for better health, we oftentimes – no, probably most of the time – forget that we aren’t just physical beings. We also have a soul, and this means taking care of ourselves spiritually.
Moral injury and Lourdes
Many veterans come on the Lourdes military pilgrimage carrying “moral injury” – spiritual and emotional wounds. It’s not an official diagnosis that can garner VA disability, but it’s just as debilitating as PTSD, TBI, and other invisible injuries. Our troops are asked and sometimes forced into doing things that would NEVER be acceptable in civilized society. Soldiers train to kill other human beings. Sometimes, it’s from firing a high-powered weapon and seeing insurgents get mowed down like grass under a lawnmower. At other times, that killing is up close and personal, like stabbing an enemy combatant to death or shooting them at point-blank range. Even killing the enemy from a plane, where you can’t actually see them dying, can cause moral injury.
The other day, I put my foot in my mouth. I was trying to make an analogy to my husband about a topic we were discussing. I said, “It would be like someone coming into your house and having to shoot them to save your life. If I had to do that I would be glad to be alive of course, but I wouldn’t be delighting in or happy over the fact that I killed another person.”
Mark looked at me with eyes that only someone with combat experience can have, and said, “You don’t know that. You don’t know what you would feel after killing someone, and you could have moral injury from that.” I immediately felt sorry for what I said. He hit on the reality that many veterans have killed or seriously maimed other human beings – and the experience may have triggered thoughts or feelings that were incompatible with their personal moral beliefs.
Many, if not most, of them were raised with a wholesome upbringing. There is a good number of military personnel who were raised Catholic, such as my own husband. “Thou shalt not kill.” It’s impossible to reconcile, on your own, that upbringing with deeds done in war. Coming to Lourdes can’t take away what happened in the past. But veterans can find peace and healing on a pilgrimage like this.
Visiting the healing baths
One of the highlights for me personally, and I’m sure for many others, was visiting the baths. You can read about my experience here. But in short, you walk away from there a changed person. In fact, you walk away from the entire Lourdes experience a changed person. It does take several days for it to sink in. But when you come home, you know there is something different about yourself. We also drank of the Lourdes water. Spigots link to the original spring, and pilgrims fill up water bottles and jugs day and night. I also collected some for family and friends who need healing. But it’s not magic. You have to believe, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary who appeared in Lourdes, that Jesus can heal. It may not be in the way a person exactly wants, but in the end it will be exactly what each person needs.
I came with my own “agenda,” if you will, for help with what could be a physical or medical issue. While I don’t know yet if it “worked,” I felt peace. Maybe that is what I really needed from coming to Lourdes, instead of immediately having my specific prayer answered. Yes, I sometimes feel sad that my prayers haven’t been answered yet, but going to Lourdes has given me a more whole perspective. We spend so much of our time stressing over what we want. We let social media, comparison, and petty drama consume us. But have we thought about, if we just slow down a little bit and pay attention to the little blessings in life, how much more content we could be?
Holistic care includes spiritual health
Our emotional and spiritual health is incredibly important. Even in nursing school I learned how to take care of a patient’s spiritual well-being. We can’t be truly healthy if we don’t take care of those things, and truth be told I haven’t spoken about that very much here. But if we really want to call ourselves “holistic,” then we have to address everything: body, mind, and spirit. Nurses in hospitals and clinics get so overworked that they usually don’t have the chance to care for the patient’s spiritual health. But here, through Warrior Life Wellness, I have the unique opportunity to do that.
My final words and hope from Lourdes is that, by having participated in such a transformational experience, I can pass on some of that to you, my followers and readers. I strive to be a better servant-leader to those who turn to this blog for answers, whether it’s in small numbers or ends up being in the thousands. I want to be a better nurse and model for those searching for optimal health. I desire to be my authentic self and carry out my calling so that others can find theirs. If I fulfill those things, then I am doing my job well.