If you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 of our infertility journey, please head over to get the back story! Those posts give vital information that lead up to this post’s topic: surgery with my NaPro Technology physician. This is the third and final part of our infertility story! Make sure to read through to the end. You don’t want to miss what happened following my surgery!
The Final Leg of Our Journey (Literally)
In the last post, I was about to fly to Texas for the triple reason of: 1) visiting family, 2) meeting my niece who was about to be born, and 3) having diagnostic testing and surgery with my NaPro Technology physician.
I arrived in Texas on Valentine’s Day 2019 (sorry Mark), and the very next week I had my first appointment with Dr. J, my NaPro physician. He is an OB/GYN and a skilled surgeon in laparoscopic techniques. The first thing we did was a “follicle series,” which is a series of about five internal ultrasounds to check for ovulation.
Not only do you want to make sure ovulation is happening, but you also want to make sure it’s healthy. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot know 100% for sure even from a fertility chart or hormone levels if a woman is ovulating. I came in almost every day that week, Monday through Thursday, for a scan. He also drew my estrogen level to see if it correlated, which it did.
Results of my Follicle Scans
The dominant follicle in my left ovary progressed normally and the lining of my uterus built up to a healthy measurement. I came back the following Sunday to make sure that I had ovulated, and indeed I had! (Side note: how amazing is it that my doctor came in on a Sunday to do that for me!) A wonderful corpus luteum indicated that.
So we had good certainty that lack of ovulation or lack of healthy ovulation was not my infertility problem. The next step was surgery to see if I had endometriosis, a uterine infection or other uterine issues, or blocked Fallopian tubes. The Tuesday of that week, February 26th, I had my pre-operative appointment. It was a quick physical exam and a bunch of questions. I answered “yes” to almost every question when Dr. J asked which PMS symptoms I had!
Finally, it was the night before my surgery. I had to stop eating and drinking at midnight, and I definitely was nervous. I wasn’t nervous about the surgery itself, because compared to the major back surgery I had when I was 13, this was nothing! But I was nervous about the possible outcome. What if Dr. J doesn’t find anything wrong? What if, like my ovulation, my pelvic cavity looks perfect? I wanted at least something to be awry, which sounds weird. I simply wanted answers, but I doubted almost all the way up till surgery.
Prepping for Laparoscopic Surgery
Friday, March 1st was surgery day! Mama and I arrived at the hospital bright and early at 5:30 am to check in and get me prepped. (Ironically, my sister-in-law Sydni was in the same hospital in labor with my niece! I had joked about that happening but didn’t think it actually would occur.)
Check-in was easy and soon the pre-op nurse took us back to the preparation room. The hospital was very clean and also high-tech: Mama got set up with text message alerts that would let her know what was happening during the surgery! I got changed into my gown and no-skid socks, and then Nurse R began prepping me: IV insertion, questions, paperwork, etc.
Nurse R told me that patients fly in from all over the country to have this very surgery with Dr. J! I was in good hands. My anesthesiologist came in and went over his points. Since I was on low-dose naltrexone (for autoimmune issues), there’s a small possibility of it interfering with narcotic effectiveness. So we discussed doing a TAP block, which is similar to an epidural. The effects can last up to 24 hours, so that definitely helped with post-op pain!
Going Under the Knife
At one point the CRNA (certified registered nurse anesthetist) came in with a vial for my IV, which was probably a relaxant of some sort. Dr. J also came in to ask if I was ready for the procedure and to pray with me. It was so wonderful and put my mind at ease!
I tried to call Mark right before they wheeled me back, but he was in the office away from his cell phone. Before I knew it, I handed my eyeglasses and phone to Mama, said goodbye, and they wheeled me off!
It was a short journey to the OR, but that relaxant was already taking effect and I don’t remember the whole ride. In the OR I remember the huge lamps and then my medical team putting me on the operating table with the white transfer sheet. I was almost completely out by this point but I remember someone telling me, “Okay Malori, you need to help us!” In the back of my mind I thought, Are you kidding me?? But I tried to scoot my butt over….and then I was out.
My Hospital Recovery Post-Procedure
The first thing I remember post-procedure was waking up in PACU with an oxygen mask on my face and moaning. I felt dizzy and couldn’t stand the light, so they promised anti-nausea medication. Dr. J came to see me in PACU at one point, and I remember him saying something like, “We found endometriosis and removed it all.” What a relief!! That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. We had at least one answer!
I also had a horrible metallic taste in my mouth, and Nurse R brought apple juice to help with that once I was back in my original preparation room. I still felt a little dizzy though, so she kept the lights low. When Mama came in, the first thing I asked was, “Is there a baby?” Nope, Sydni had not given birth yet! It would be many more hours.
When Mark called on video, I was still barely functional due to the dizziness and post-anesthesia grogginess. Mama told him what was found. After our conversation, she went upstairs to be with Sydni and my brother Jordan on the L&D floor while I continued to recover. Dr. J came in to see me again, and I remember that as he left the room I said groggily, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate you.”
My Endometriosis Diagnosis
Warning: graphic medical photo ahead!
It was almost noon when I was finally cohesive. Nurse R helped me walk a little and then I got dressed. Soon it was time to leave! I used the toilet to urinate, which wasn’t painful. The nurse wheeled me out to the van, and then Mama and I headed home!
On the way, Mama told me what Dr. J had found and performed. The first piece of news was that he found endometriosis in three places in my pelvic cavity! This was incredible, given that I didn’t have painful periods that “typically” accompany endo. Ironically, March was Endometriosis Awareness Month and I was diagnosed on the first day of the month.
Two of the endo spots were darker, indicating older lesions, and the third one was very small and white, indicating a newer lesion. (Without a skilled surgeon, newer lesions can easily be missed.) One of the dark lesions had whiteness around it, and the other dark lesion was on my left ovary.
Dr. J used a CO2 laser to excise the area with both dark and white growths. He then used the same tool to vaporize the small white spot and the dark spot on my ovary. Vaporization is more effective than ablation, but excision has the highest rate of effectiveness. NaPro uses both excision and vaporization depending on the type and location of endometriosis lesions, but avoids ablation because of higher grow-back rate with that technique.
A Good Uterus But a Bad Fallopian Tube
Dr. J also performed a hysteroscopy to look inside my uterus. It looked good visually, and he took a biopsy to test for infection. (The results of the biopsy were no infections!) Finally, he performed a selective HSG to check for Fallopian tube patency. He ran into a little resistance with my right tube, but it was clear and looked healthy and normal.
My left tube, however, was completely blocked and attenuated – meaning, narrowed. Dr. J was unable to cannulate it with the clearing device because of how narrowed it was. He said that it’s probably a congenital malformation and in embryonic development, my uterus didn’t connect properly with the tube. So there is no way that conception could happen in the left tube and it reduces my chance of pregnancy every month to 50%. But, as he later said, “You only need one [tube]!”
Relief and Gratitude for My Diagnoses
I was so relieved at the findings. I finally had validation that TWO things had been holding us back from conceiving! Even though the endometriosis wasn’t blocking anything, just the mere presence of it in the pelvic cavity causes inflammation and interferes with the process of fertilization. Despite our chances of pregnancy being reduced by 50% because of my bad tube, I felt more at peace and even joyful. It challenged me to trust more in God for the timing of our hopeful miracle baby.
Pain the day of surgery was like moderate, and later mild, menstrual cramps. My incisions were also a little painful. I had three of them: in my belly button, right above my pubic bone, and in my lower right abdominal quadrant. I took Rx-strength naproxen twice a day, which kept my pain at a very tolerable level. I also bled like a light-medium period, and was on pelvic rest for two weeks.
I rested that day and had enough strength to return to the hospital that night to meet my beautiful niece, Emelia Ann! She is so precious, and it was amazing and comforting to hold a newly born family member. A week later Emmie was baptized – Mark and I are her godparents.
Symptoms Post-Laparoscopy
I was pretty bloated for awhile and didn’t wear jeans for at least a couple weeks. Stretchy pants and flowy shirts were my best friends! I moved pretty slowly the first day, but I have to say the pain was not bad at all. What made the pain worse was having to pee, so emptying my bladder gave me relief. The day after surgery (Saturday) I felt even better: no menstrual pain, just incision and abdominal pain, and some tiredness.
However, I didn’t feel like my normal energetic self until at least two weeks post-surgery. Coming back to Germany on March 19th was a challenge as well, due to jet-lag. It took me awhile to get adjusted again!
Pregnancy Expectations After Endometriosis Removal
At my post-op appointment before returning to Germany, I asked Dr. J about a realistic timeline for getting pregnant. While not guaranteed, he said that some people become pregnant even one to two cycles post-laparoscopy! That was great to hear, but I didn’t want to believe it would happen to us. I didn’t want to be too optimistic. But he said that from his point of view, there shouldn’t be anything preventing us from conceiving now.
I started my period soon after having surgery, so the surgical bleeding bled into (no pun intended) my period. My pre-ovulatory phase was longer than normal and I didn’t have my Peak day till Day 16, which is unusual for me. However, the quality and quantity of my cervical mucus was much better! It could have been from having endo removed from my ovary.
Unfortunately, no pregnancy occurred that first cycle post-laparoscopy. I tried to not be too disappointed, but it still made me a little crestfallen to see yet another negative pregnancy test. I began throwing myself into this Warriors in the Wait infertility project, and also started acting on the inspiration I had received to start an infertility podcast! It is called Restoring Fertility Naturally and focuses on infertility from a restorative reproductive medicine lens, like NaPro Technology. (You can listen on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify, or the podcast website.)
Staying Busy and Enjoying Life in the Wait
After returning to Germany, Mark and I went on four trips within a little over a month: Paris, France; The Netherlands; Normandy, France; and Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Bavaria. It was great to have a full schedule with all that traveling and seeing new places. It distracted me from the stress of trying to conceive, and I was truly enjoying life with Mark.
I had a fire lit under me for my infertility projects too! The second day of National Infertility Awareness Week, April 22, I announced my podcast mentioned above. The positive response was extremely gratifying! There’s such a gap in the marketplace for holistic fertility care that respects each person’s dignity and works with one’s fertility instead of circumventing or suppressing it. I felt joyful in the mission that God had placed on my heart! I finally began accepting that perhaps He wanted us to wait longer to have a baby.
I also continued to to take bio-identical progesterone shots, which reduced my PMS to almost nothing! It was amazing and I felt fabulous for two cycles in a row (the cycle before surgery and the one immediately after). However, in my second cycle post-laparoscopy, eight days past my Peak fertile day, I started to feel some light PMS symptoms. This was unusual because I was taking the progesterone and had felt so good the last two cycles! I didn’t understand it. I was having some light cramps, fatigue, and was a little queasy a couple times.
Accepting Another “Failed” Cycle
I didn’t want to get my hopes up about being pregnant though. I had experienced all those symptoms, even queasiness, as part of PMS in the past. I tried to ignore the symptoms and went about my business. On Saturday, April 27, I recorded two podcast episodes about our infertility journey. I also got hit with an unusual and almost extreme fatigue that made me not want to go grocery shopping.
But I needed to, and on the way to the store I prayed about whether I should take a pregnancy test. It was only 10 days past my Peak, which was two days earlier than I “should” test. In past months I had been really good about waiting until 12 days past my Peak day. I went back and forth about it, and then got distracted by cooking, eating (and then feeling queasy), and mopping the kitchen floor.
It got to be around 9:30 pm, and I decided that night we would start the Organic Conceptions program. I had recently spoken to the founder of this home study program, which was for couples to work on their thoughts and emotions surrounding infertility. It sounded amazing and we decided to try it. I didn’t want that disappointed feeling every month to continue.
But first, I would take a pregnancy test JUST to get my mind off it for the next couple days. Of course it would be negative, just like every other test I’d ever taken. I pulled out a cheap, small test from Amazon. (They come in bulk.) I dipped the stick in the pee, started a three-minute timer, and then glanced at it while still sitting on the toilet.
Disbelief, Joy, and Ugly Crying
It was turning positive! I audibly gasped and I’m sure my mouth was hanging wide open. I think I washed my hands, then paced back and forth in our bathroom holding my mouth, gasping, hyperventilating, and almost crying. Falling down on my knees in front of the test resting on the windowsill, I thanked God for this incredible miracle!
I waited till the three minutes were up (as if the positive would disappear!), before taking the test out to Mark.
I was shaking, both in my body and my voice, held out the stick, and said, “I’m pregnant!!” I collapsed onto him on the couch, uncontrollably shaking the stick, and pointing out the second line. “I wasn’t even supposed to test today! This isn’t real! I can’t believe it!” I kept repeating. I began ugly crying and he put his arm around me, beaming and saying how wonderful it was!
“I know, it’s so good, I’m just in shock! Do you know how many tests I’ve taken and have never seen a second line?” I cried.
When I stopped freaking out, I pulled out a First Response “expensive” test that I had been saving just for this moment. I dipped that stick and watched as it turned positive almost immediately!! It was real! This wasn’t a dream. I was pregnant and it was only the second cycle post-laparoscopy – just like Dr. J had said could happen!
After that second test, we sat on the couch and thanked the Lord for this incredible and precious gift of a baby, a new human life. Calculating from my Peak day, I was only 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant! It was so early, but we knew we wanted to tell our parents immediately. We video chatted with both sets of parents and they couldn’t be more thrilled!
Pregnant After Infertility
Over the next several days, I took five more tests just to make sure. A digital ClearBlue test on Sunday morning showed “Pregnant.” I did a progression series with First Response, and each test showed a darker pregnant line. In fact, with the last one I took, the pregnant line was darker than the control line! That meant HCG was increasing in my system.
It didn’t seem real, yet it was. After almost two years of infertility, I was with child. We, along with God, had made a baby. The NaPro surgery to remove endometriosis had worked! That had been the missing link all along!
The day I post this, I’m 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and already had my first prenatal appointment with a German obstetrician. Baby is implanted in the right spot and measuring on time for gestational age! I’ve begun to have symptoms already like gagginess, fatigue, bloating, and vacillating between ravenous hunger and not wanting to eat.
What a precious, undeserved gift – even the pregnancy symptoms. I’m thankful for each one because they mean that baby is developing. The journey and the struggle has been worth it. The feeling you have when seeing those two pink lines for the very first time EVER is an unbelievable one. I’m in awe and I hope that never leaves me.
The Emotions of Pregnancy After Infertility
We know that it’s early and that “anything” can happen. I also want to say that the fear and paranoia with pregnancy after infertility is REAL. Oftentimes I worry that I’ve done something to harm the baby or my body, or that the baby has stopped developing. But we wanted to share this good news early because we want to celebrate his or her life from the beginning. (And let’s face it: I’m impatient and can’t keep a secret for very long!) We are calling the babe our “Little Flower,” since we had visited the St. Therese Basilica on Easter and I would’ve been very newly pregnant at that time.
While I’m excited, I’m also nervous about going public with my pregnancy after struggling through infertility. I know many people follow me on social media because of infertility. I don’t want to hurt others who are still in the battle and hoping for pregnancy themselves.
But I also don’t want to squash our joy. Every life should be celebrated from the moment of conception! If you are in the wait, know that I still see you. I still feel you. My heart aches for you and wants this kind of joy for you as well! This was one of my first thoughts after finding out I was pregnant and it still makes me emotional.
Infertility Will Always Be Part of Our Story
Becoming more okay with our infertility situation didn’t bring about pregnancy, but it certainly helped with my mindset and peace of heart. Finding your purpose and mission despite, or even because of, infertility is so important! It may not be starting a podcast like I’ve done, but maybe it’s starting a ministry at your church or simply telling your story to others. You need community. Please know that I will always be part of the infertility community. This journey will never leave us, and we know that fertility is not guaranteed for the future.
Please pray for me, Mark, and Little Flower in this pregnancy! (Zoey the German Shepherd is also excited to be a big sister.) I can’t wait to keep you all updated on how things are going. Your support during this struggle has meant so much! God’s goodness and mercy is everlasting! Always hold onto hope and His Providence.
Daisy says
Malori—
Got so ready reading the specifics of your positive pregnancy test. So beyond thrilled for you and Mark. Little Flower is loved beyond measure already and will continue to follow your journey through motherhood. “